November 21 - Day 4

Couldn't sleep.  Many of you know I struggle with it.  I have too many thoughts in my head, especially tonight.  I'm going to share them, so maybe it will help me go back to sleep.

Everyone hearing this blog is important to our family for some special reason, I have this guilt not responding and thanking each one of you publicly and personally.  I really want to keep this about Chloe's progress.  So, I'm going to try to cut back on the thank yous.

Anyway, I just remembered that I dragged Chloe with me to a very special walk for Brain Cancer.  One of our high school girlfriends just passed away last year of this horrible disease.  She was extremely strong and inspiring.  I have shared Vick's story with my daughters.  Because of her they have become stronger.  They realize how precious life is and that it is important to live it to your fullest and have fun =always. 

Helen, my partner in neighborhood crime.  You are an amazing cook - you Italian genius you!  I was so starved, I kneeled in the corner with my back to Chloe ravenously devouring your organic homemade soup. 

I was raised catholic and have always believed.  My belief and faith has grown because of Chloe.  When she was born, I turned to God, and he was there.  My girl's go to CCD and have made their first communion (Tessa will this May).  We go to church every Sunday as a family.  I hold this time as such a special quiet time for our family to sit close and thank God for all our blessings.  I'm sooooo lucky Tommy supports this, because he knows how important it is to me.  He also sees how good it is for the girls and our family.  He even admits it makes him a better person as well.  I also feel a connection to my Grandma Faber.  She had such a strong faith.  She lived in Yugoslavia, and I can remember her holy water, bible, rosary, etc.  It comforts me and makes me feel close to her.  I feel it also helps make my girls know her the way I did. 

I believe in all faiths and prayer.  It is so powerful, and I feel has saved Chloe over and over.  In turn I think her little life has affected so many people in so many small and large ways.  No matter what religion you are - I beg you to pray for her.  I also thank all of you who have continued to do so for these long 4 days.

OK - I feel better, and I am sleepy.  I am scared to post this due to the grammar.  I also hope it makes sense.

Oops - Chloe was doing great when I left her.  Pain meds are working.  Vitals are great.  I have continued to watch her and let her rest during the day.  I love to help the nurse give her a sponge bath and massage her.  She loves it and getting her mouth washed out.  I felt bad, because when we rolled her over to massage her, I found a pink plastic cap to saline smushed into her back.  I think this was one of the things she was trying to tell me last night - ugh. 

She was trying to tell me something tonight.  She held out her arms, and I asked if she wanted a hug.  She nodded yes.  Oh did I jump into that bed as much as I could.  She communicated with Tommy and I for a while.  She is hungry - that's why I hid when I ate.  She didn't get overly excited this time, and then was able to go back to sleep without more meds - yeah.  Prayers do work.

Her nurses are amazing.  They are so kind and gentle with Chloe.  I have been so impressed with Children's Hospital and the super care she is recieving. 

Goodnight - will update you more later.